Wrestling with my Brain

I have been thinking about memory and the central role it plays in my life. I know that I remember things, but I also know that I forget things as well. The likely hood of forgetting something increases if I have not gone through the motion of writing it down. Sort of like you only need seatbelts when your not buckled in rule of driving.

I have learned that I need to write things down. But I have also learned that I can’t read my own hand writing half the time. So I compromise by writing things down on the computer. Witch is not always as handy as it sounds. Last January I purchased an ipod and I find the date book option in the ipod really useful. Of course I am dead set against owning a cell phone – witch I will go into in some other post.

David Allen in his book "Getting Things Done – The Art of Stress Free Productivity" says that most people have been in some version of mental stress for so long that they don’t eve know they are in it. He also says that the mind can only hold three things at the same time. After that you start loosing stuff. You can read more about David Allen on his website

I really identify with this concept – not only do I forget stuff like every one else. But because of all this stress from dyslexia early in life I have a whole mental recording about how messed up. Hopefully you don’t have all these emotional echoes from when you to forget your home work that you spent three works diligently working on so that you could hand in one assignment on time – come up when you drive to town to get the bread and bring home the cheese, yogurt, carrots, and the tub of ice cream, but not the milk.

At this point in my dialog or rant depending on who I am talking too and how long I have known them – I will be getting a puzzled look. My friend will say – but Eric I forget things too. Do you? Do you forget things three to five times a day? Do you live in fear of forgetting things? Do you tell people that you would like them to consider calling you if you don’t show up to the meeting just because you might have forgot? Are you always saying in meetings – hum do you have pen I forgot mine?

I can remember 28 hours of storytelling material on the drop of a pin and tell to a very high professional level.

But that is not the real kicker about my memory. Here is the thing if my memory is not so hot – Then what evidence do I use to convince myself that my memory needs watching?

Really I only have what I remember and man I can tell you that I am not really clear on all that –
1) I just don’t rememberr everything I have forgotten
2) I am a very optimistic person and given the choice between realism and a healthy dose of positive vibes – I’ll choose the positive feelings.
3) Denial is very important crutch to some one who has taken nine years of basic English equvalent and still can’t spell equivalent. I mean for crying out loud I am a certified card caring dyslexic individual writing a blog – What other credentials do you want that I have a high ability to deny reality effectively?
4) Emotionally admitting that my mind is not trust worthy is right on par with admitting that Masters of Science degree I worked so hard to get was given out by lottery and any day now they are going to come for me and as for it back. ( over my dead body)

Recently I had a friend of mine who I told about David Allen and his books.
I said that everybody is built the same way and that there are two kinds of people those that admit they need systems to stay organized and those that are pretending they can function with out any system of organization. He claimed in response that his wife was able to function with out any intentional organizational structure. She was just so organized and scientific in thought. I smiled politely and agreed.

But it turns out that this organized and wonderful woman (she is a very nice person) Forgot two separate massage visits with my wife's massage practice. Here is the key idea here – we all need systems of organization and if you are dyslexic you just need to admit that faster then everyone else.