Tuesday, September 9, 2008
The mind is not a dumping ground (Part B)
Remove access to violent video games, television programs or DVD’s. Place Internet accessible computers in common space for easy adult supervision. I am always shocked at how unaware adults and women in particular are of how close pornography is to there child’s easy exploration and curiosity. Internet controls are a must for any computer supervise. Computers with Internet access must be i public spaces and must be check regularly for inappropriate use.
Give yourself permission to not talk about adult emotional subjects with your child. This is incredible important not only in the avoidance of intellectual ideas that involve guilt or other depressing self sabotaging ideas, but also in the avoidance of using your child as dumping ground for your emotional storms. I am surprised by this because in my family it was not considered appropriate, but I horrified to discover as an adult that my family was the exception not the rule. Many children are placed it eh terribly uncomfortable position of being forced to comfort or play parent for there parents at a young age. If you find your self compaiing to your child about any aspect of your life - I woudl suggest this stop - just stop. Yea share your life iwth them - but leave out the emotional worries and troubles of being an adult. Especially if they are dyslexic or other wise Learning Disabled.
Say I love you to your child or teenager even if they look horrified. Say i love you a lot. because they should hear it every day of there life from somebody - why not you?
If your child is especially stressed out by there take them to your local city park and throw a ball, Frisbee or whatever other excuse you can come up with for them to be outside away from the literate world. Three weeks backpacking for teenagers is a great prescription for self-confidence. A weekend in the country with no TV, radio, video games or internet is a great way for the whole family to be de stress. Warning: A weekend in the country in an ideal place is not a replacement for a real relationship and can be an opportunity to realize how far from being in the moment your family has moved.